April 17, 2007

 

look at this


La Compagnie des Lumas

et

le Théâtre de Villefranche sur Saône



vous invitent

les 21 et 22 avril 2007 à 14h30 et 19h00

au Théâtre de Villefranche sur Saône



à assister au spectacle déambulatoire



Retour au fumier



D’après le roman de Raymond Federman



Adaptation et mise en scène Angélique Clairand et Eric Massé








Lumières Thomas Chazalon / régie générale Julien Louisgrand

vidéo Guillaume Marmin / chorégraphie Axelle Mikaeloff



avec

Charlotte Duran, Marion Lubat, Géraldine Masquelier, Benjamin Villemagne

Un groupe de comédiens Caladois, ateliers du théâtre de Villefranche, chorales et ensembles de l’école de musique, résidents de l’Oasis, société généalogie du Rhône, club de natation de Villefranche, section natation synchronisée, le Cep, résidence de personnes âgées, radio Calade, collège Jean-Moulin, association tendance et section hip hop du service jeunesse



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Retour au fumier : C’est un road-movie en voiture de Raymond Federman et de sa femme, de Paris en province, à la recherche de la ferme où il a passé 3 années de sa vie, caché des allemands, pendant la seconde guerre mondiale.



LINK

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# posted by blogmaster @ 4/17/2007 10:21:00 AM 0 comments
 

"for me now it's floating language..."

www.lichtensteiger.de/floatingLanguage.html

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# posted by blogmaster @ 4/17/2007 10:12:00 AM 0 comments

February 28, 2007

 

LOVE IN SOAPLAND

Over yonder in Soapland nobody watches television. In Soapland everybody is too enmeshed in love to waste time with TV. Anyway, by avoiding television one preserves one's sweetness. In Soapland love occupies 97% of the average person's time. That's a lot of time spent on love. It doesn't leave much for watching famous killers doing their things, or movie stars being sued, or athletes being busted, or rapists being paroled, or politicians being accused of improprieties.

Right now in Soapland, Edmund is marrying the most beautiful young brain surgeon ever produced by Johns Hopkins University Surgery Department. Her name is Dr. Karen Much. Their love was touch and go for a while because it looked as if Edmund might be in love with Brooke, who was on the rebound after being jolted by her husband Tad, who is now in love with Dixie, whose marriage to Brian never worked out.

The wedding ceremony of Ed and Karen, incidentally, has interrupted the trial of Erika accused of stabbing her latest husband, Dimitri, in a fit of hysteria brought on by the fear that Dimo (as Erika always called him before she eliminated him) was in love with Kendall, Erika's teen age daughter by crafty old rapist Charlie, but it turns out that Kandall did not give a shit about Dimitri because, in fact, all along she has had her eyes on the lady brain surgeon. But that's another story.









CONCERNING HOTEL SOAP

I found the following exchange of letters between a London hotel staff and one of its guests in a trash can on Picaddilly Circle during a recent visit to the U.K. I am taking the liberty of reproducing them here to protect those who may be considering traveling to the U.K. and staying in one of the fancy London Hotels.
R.F.

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Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,
S. Berman

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Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid

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Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing my teeth, etc. Please remove them.

S. Berman

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Dear Mr. Berman,

My day off was last Wed. So the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed to do by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if can be of further assistance.

Your regular maid,
Dotty

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Dear Mr. Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

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Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars in the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman

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Dear Mr. Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.

Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper

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Dear Mr. Kensedder,

My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman

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Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager

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Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman

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Dear Mr. Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

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Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess: On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. - On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3. - On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, - 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 - Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. - In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. - On the northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used. - On the northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3. Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the room safety vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman

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# posted by blogmaster @ 2/28/2007 12:34:00 AM 1 comments

February 10, 2007

 

FEDERMAN READING AT BERNARDO HEIGHTS COUNTRY CLUB

I've been asked to give a reading from my work at the Bernardo Heights Country Club - of which I am a member in good standing -- up to now -- this reading will take place at the end of a gourmet dinner in front of some 100 members -- all of them fanatic golfers -- so this is what I'm going to read -- let me know if you approve -- I'm sending this message to all my friends -- their opinion counts for me --

here is the piece I selected from my oeuvre

[by the way I am not being payed for this reading - -I am doing it at the requests of the membership of BHCC]

Yesterday I bought a new tape recorder – and today I recorded a story on my new recorder – yes when I am alone I often talk to myself aloud – this is the story I recorded – I call it –

THE CARCASSES

I am sitting in my study -- that's how the story I recorded begins -- I am sitting in my study in San Diego California -- close to the sun -- where I moved seven years ago to be with myself and finish my work -- I am sitting in my study looking out of the window at the splendid view before me -- incredible -- the valley the mountains -- the trees -- the sky -- the birds in the sky --beautiful --

I had a good day -- I feel great -- a good round of golf this morning -- shot an 81 -- yes 81 -- remember this is fiction – 38 on the front - I hit seven greens on regulation -- had two birdies -- back nine a 43 -- two lousy double bogies -- dumb mistakes – the mind wanders sometime -- but a solid 81 -- then home to work on my new novel – My Body in Nine Parts with 3 supplements -- today I am working on my scars -- and I look up and there before me the incredible view --

and I think -- when you die all this get extinguished -- nothing more to see -- it's like plunging into a big black hole -- everything becomes dark --

but then it occurs to me that to say that -- to think that -- implies the possibility of an after -- of some kind of existence after you die -- could I have been wrong all my life -- no -- I'm not going to fall into that meta-pata-physical stuff -- no magic trick -- not divine power or intervention -- I am human -- I am conscious of being human and alive --

but let’s say now you are dead -- so here you are among all the dead carcasses -- yes that's what this story is called -- the carcasses -- here they are -- the old ones that have been around for a long time -- the new ones that just arrived -- all piled up on top of one another waiting for their turn to be transmuted -- transmutation does not happen all at once -- does not happen instantly the moment you become a carcass --

carcasses are not reincarnated the moment they become carcasses -- there is a waiting period -- a kind of incubation -- so here you are waiting your turn -- no magic trick as I said -- just that you have to wait for the authorities to decide -- yes let's call them that -- the authorities -- nobody knows who they are -- but they are the ones who decide when it's your turn to be transmuted --

they call you -- hey you over there comme over here -- and they tell you we’re sending you back -- back to wherever you came from -- doesn't have to be the planet Earth -- carcasses come from all sorts of places in the entire universe --

the place where the carcasses are piled up is a separate zone in the great void of the universe -- nobody knows where it is -- but it's like a huge department store -- a bit like Wall-mart -- and there carcasses of all sizes all types all shapes all forms all colors -- most of them formless -- wait for the authorities to call them to be transmuted -- one cannot argue with the authorities -- you have to accept their decision --

and so your turn comes and you are told that you are going back as an insect -- yes -- as a fly -- imagine yourself now living the life of fly -- ok it's a short life -- but still -- what is your main purpose in life - your raison d'être -- to buzz around -- to bug the shit out of the other species -- buzz around the eyes of cows who try to smack you with their tails -- or buzz around humans -- shit on windows panes or T.V. screens -- but one day you land on the arm or the top of the head of a human and – bang -- he slaps you with his hand -- and crushes you -- splashes you -- and you're dead – what kind of a life is that --

so here you are again among the carcasses -- oh you're already back the other carcasses say to you -- I mean those who are still there waiting their turn --

and again you wait to be send back -- well this time your turn comes quick -- no reason given -- you come back as a flower -- a lovely red rose in the suburban backyard of some nouveau rich on the coast of California -- and you're proud because you know you're beautiful and you smell good --

the ladies who come to play bridge look at you and say -- oh what a beautiful rose -- but then one day the lady of the house tells the maid to go get flowers in the garden to put on the dinning room table -- so here comes the maid with her clippers or whatever she uses to cut you off -- then she sticks you in a vase with some water -- and soon the water starts smelling foul and it's unbearable -- and you begin to whiter and the lady of the house says to the maid -- get rid of that dead flower -- and the maid throws you in the garbage can -- and empty the smelly water in the sink -- and here you are back among the carcasses -- what kind of life was that --

now you wait again -- this time a very long time -- maybe a couple of centuries -- even more --

time does not exist in the carcass zone --- so you really don’t know how long you waited – but finally the authorities call you and tell you that you are needed among the lions of Africa -- there is a shortage of virile male lions on the planet earth -- and so they are sending you back to be a lion in Africa -- so here you are in Kenya with three sexy lionesses and a bunch of little cubs -- and it's a good life --

every fifteen minutes -- this has been carefully observed by lion observers -- one of the lionesses comes over and licks you for a little humping -- so you rise from your dreamy slumber -- hump the lioness -- and then go back to the shadow of the trees where you were dreaming of another life -- it’s a good life --- plenty to eat -- the lionesses see to that -- lots of gazelle meat -- and it's fun to play with the little cubs -- but one day a bunch of humans of different colors come along -- the black ones are half naked and danse around -- the white ones wear funny colonial hats and have rifles --- but they are not here to make a carcass out f you -- they want to capture you -- and they do with a big net -- then they stick you in a box and ship you to what they call the civilized world --

lucky for you -- they don't put you in the Buffalo zoo where you would have spend the rest of your temporary earthly life in a cage wallowing in your own shit -- and with no sexy lionesses to hump because now -- for lack of exercise in the wilderness -- you're incapable of getting it up –

yes – lucky for you -- they put you in the San Diego zoo -- and build for you what they call a natural environment -- of course it’s fake -- this is California -- there is nothing natural about this environment they build for you -- it’s pure Hollywood decor – you know that -- you know it's fake -- but you pretend it's really nice just to make the humans feel good and happy so that they don't send you to the Buffalo zoo --

but you're bored in this phoney Walt Disney environment -- most of the time you sleep -- or pretend to be asleep -- especially when they bring the kids to look at you in fear -- they would like you to look mean and act ferocious -- so a human pokes you in the ass with a long stick so you can roar -- what kind of a life is that --

okay they bring you these big chunks of meat -- beef -- but one day they give you a piece of meat that comes from a sick cow and you die -- you die of the mad cow disease -- and you're back among the carcasses --

well I won’t go into all the possible animal or human or vegetable form or whatever you could come back --

imagine yourself as radish -- what kind of a life that would be -- or an artichoke --
okay a tree -- a big majestic tree -- that would be okay for a while -- but then all the other trees around become jealous because you're taller -- or because your trunk is bigger then theirs -- or your leaves more greener --

then one day some humans come with a big saw and cut you down to pieces and burn you -- what kind of a life is that --

and here you are back again among the carcasses -- and while waiting for your turn to come again you think --

I know that dead carcasses are not supposed to be able to think -- but for the convenience of this story let's just say that they are capable of cogitation – so you cogitate --

why can I have a voice in the decision of what I will become next -- why can't I make up my own ...

... I was going to say mind -- but carcasses have no mind –

so let's just say why can I have a little something to say about my next transmutation --

and since you were -- once upon a time -- a writer in one of your previous transmutations -- you compose a very stylish message addressed to the authorities asking if maybe it isn't time for the carcasses to have a say in the process of their transmutation --

this stirs up thing in the carcass zone -- there are discussions -- debates -- arguments – polls – votes – and all sorts of things like that --

but finally the authorities give up and agree --

so now – when the time comes for a carcass to be transmuted -- the carcass in question must appear in front of the authorities to discuss what they would like to become --

it's a very complex and lengthy process but eventually you a joint decision is made -- and you become what you really wanted to become --

for instance me -- I often said that if I were to come back I would want to come back as a roman gladiator so that I could lead a revolt against the roman emperor -- like Spartacus – or come back as a musketeer -- like Dartagnan – or as a French lover -- like le Marquis de Sade –

or – or -- or – as -- as -- as ... it's not easy to decide yourself what you want to come back as --

this is why I think the best thing to do here -- I mean here in this story -- is to let the readers decide themselves what they would like to come back as --

and if this story if ever published --

let's say in the New Yorker --

then I would insist that the last page of the story be a blank page where the readers can write what they want to be in their next life --

of course someday -- the way science is making progress -- carcasses might be able to come back as objects --

imagine coming back as stove or an electric razor -- or a toilet seat – what kind of a life would that be –

or better yet -- come back as a golf club -- that would be an interesting life -- a brand new Taylor Made titanium 607 driver with a graphite shaft -- not a bad life --

well at least until the golfer decide that you're driving him crazy with the way you slice the ball and decides to buy a new carcass reincarnated as a King Cobra 560 driver with an anti-slice shaft -- and throws you – the Taylor Made -- into the garbage -- imagine what kind of a life that would be --

by the time I finished recording this story it was dark outside my window – and the splendid view had vanished into the night –

Raymond Federman

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# posted by blogmaster @ 2/10/2007 11:05:00 PM 3 comments

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