November 22, 2006
Concerning the opening paragraphs
Ace -- quiet sick a flu that will not quite quit
reinsulted, as it were....enjoying the status
Fed -- wait till you hear what a night I had
Ace --last wk you were famous i heard brasss bands
playing, medals were being pinned on chests
all yr revs were starred....
but since then....silence, no but slnc
Fed -- silence everywhere
you can't even hear
the rustle of the
falling leaves
silence from all sides
and worse
today some guy writes a description of a stage adaptation he is doing in Lille of Mon Corps en Neuf Partie -- and talking about the author -- he says 80 years old experimental ecrivain ... tatata
fucking guy makes me 80
that hurts
well let me tell you about last night
last night while watching the chargers demolish the broncos did you see LT
4 touchdowns well we were watching with some typical americans at their typical american house you know the type that put the booze away endlessly and recklessly
not me though I don't drink that shit especially not bad california wine I'm a chauviniste de premiere classe and a snob too
so instead of boozing I eat and eat and eat well let's call it nibble I nibble and nibble but the stuff I was nibbling was well you know typical american grub made special for watching a football game with americans
need I say more
well I kept stuffing myself especially when Lt was scoring another touchdown
100 touchdowns in 83 games jim brown move over
anyway I even had ice cream a huge portion
which is not good for me erica says
but what does she know
ice cream makes me feel joyful and ticklish inside
well after that last night I couldn't sleep
I kept burping and belching and rotting
I almost barfed I couldn't stay in bed
in the prone position neither left or right side
the fucking serial belching kept coming
and with them the bile that tasted like
burnt carrot juice spiced with garlic
I couldn't take it any more
I went downstairs and sat
in my leather rocking chair
straight up I sat all night
my legs dangling
wrapped in a blanket
I didn't even turn on the tv
I just stared into the dark
belching and belching
and feeling the bile
rising inside of me
into my throat
and I felt so sick
and lonely
and humiliated
so to take my mind
away from the belching
I started rewriting in my head
the first two paragraphs of
chut histoire d'une enfance
by the way that's the subtitle
story of a childhood
and this morning I typed
the two paragraphs
I reworked in my head
here look
in french of course
but i'll do an english version
of these two paragraphs
so that the unilinguists
can have an idea of what
is going on chez federman
those two paragraphs
tell the whole story
I even wonder if I should
add another word
why can a novel be
two paragraphs long
with a title
and a subtitle
and of course
the name of the author
RAYMOND FEDERMAN
written on the same page
as the title & subtitle
CHUT
histoire d’une enfance
par
Raymond Federman
Chut ...
Ce chut ... J’ai bien des fois raconté que c’était le dernier mot que j’ai entendu de ma mère, ce triste jour de juillet 1942 quand la porte du cabinet de débarras dans lequel ma mère m’avait poussé se referma sur moi.
Shhh...
This shhh ... I have often told that it was the last word I heard from my mother, that sad day of July 1942, when the door of the closet into which my mother had pushed me closed upon me.
Chut, murmura ma mère. Et les quatorze premières années de ma vie furent englouties dans l’obscurité de ce débarras au troisième étage de notre immeuble. Moi qui avais si peur du noir quand j’étais petit, moi qui n’osais pas aller au cabinet dans la cour tout seul parce qu’il faisait trop noir dedans, moi qui tremblais de peur quand je devais descendre dans la sombre cave de notre maison chercher du charbon pour notre salamandre, moi qui avais si peur des gros rats noirs qui cavalaient dans la cave, moi je suis resté dans le noir de ce cabinet de débarras pendant toute une journée et toute une nuit, perdu dans l’incompréhension.
Shhh, murmured my mother. And the 14 first years of my life vanished into the obscurity of the closet on the third floor of our house. Me who was so afraid of the dark when I was small, me who couldn't go alone at night in the toilet in the courtyard because it was so dark in it, me who trembled with fear when my father sent me to fetch coal in the dark basement of the house where huge black rats attacked me, me I stayed in the black hole of the closet for one full day and one night, lost in incomprehension.
to all my faithful readers : do you approve this opening?
If so, please send a note to chut@enfance.com
reinsulted, as it were....enjoying the status
Fed -- wait till you hear what a night I had
Ace --last wk you were famous i heard brasss bands
playing, medals were being pinned on chests
all yr revs were starred....
but since then....silence, no but slnc
Fed -- silence everywhere
you can't even hear
the rustle of the
falling leaves
silence from all sides
and worse
today some guy writes a description of a stage adaptation he is doing in Lille of Mon Corps en Neuf Partie -- and talking about the author -- he says 80 years old experimental ecrivain ... tatata
fucking guy makes me 80
that hurts
well let me tell you about last night
last night while watching the chargers demolish the broncos did you see LT
4 touchdowns well we were watching with some typical americans at their typical american house you know the type that put the booze away endlessly and recklessly
not me though I don't drink that shit especially not bad california wine I'm a chauviniste de premiere classe and a snob too
so instead of boozing I eat and eat and eat well let's call it nibble I nibble and nibble but the stuff I was nibbling was well you know typical american grub made special for watching a football game with americans
need I say more
well I kept stuffing myself especially when Lt was scoring another touchdown
100 touchdowns in 83 games jim brown move over
anyway I even had ice cream a huge portion
which is not good for me erica says
but what does she know
ice cream makes me feel joyful and ticklish inside
well after that last night I couldn't sleep
I kept burping and belching and rotting
I almost barfed I couldn't stay in bed
in the prone position neither left or right side
the fucking serial belching kept coming
and with them the bile that tasted like
burnt carrot juice spiced with garlic
I couldn't take it any more
I went downstairs and sat
in my leather rocking chair
straight up I sat all night
my legs dangling
wrapped in a blanket
I didn't even turn on the tv
I just stared into the dark
belching and belching
and feeling the bile
rising inside of me
into my throat
and I felt so sick
and lonely
and humiliated
so to take my mind
away from the belching
I started rewriting in my head
the first two paragraphs of
chut histoire d'une enfance
by the way that's the subtitle
story of a childhood
and this morning I typed
the two paragraphs
I reworked in my head
here look
in french of course
but i'll do an english version
of these two paragraphs
so that the unilinguists
can have an idea of what
is going on chez federman
those two paragraphs
tell the whole story
I even wonder if I should
add another word
why can a novel be
two paragraphs long
with a title
and a subtitle
and of course
the name of the author
RAYMOND FEDERMAN
written on the same page
as the title & subtitle
CHUT
histoire d’une enfance
par
Raymond Federman
Chut ...
Ce chut ... J’ai bien des fois raconté que c’était le dernier mot que j’ai entendu de ma mère, ce triste jour de juillet 1942 quand la porte du cabinet de débarras dans lequel ma mère m’avait poussé se referma sur moi.
Shhh...
This shhh ... I have often told that it was the last word I heard from my mother, that sad day of July 1942, when the door of the closet into which my mother had pushed me closed upon me.
Chut, murmura ma mère. Et les quatorze premières années de ma vie furent englouties dans l’obscurité de ce débarras au troisième étage de notre immeuble. Moi qui avais si peur du noir quand j’étais petit, moi qui n’osais pas aller au cabinet dans la cour tout seul parce qu’il faisait trop noir dedans, moi qui tremblais de peur quand je devais descendre dans la sombre cave de notre maison chercher du charbon pour notre salamandre, moi qui avais si peur des gros rats noirs qui cavalaient dans la cave, moi je suis resté dans le noir de ce cabinet de débarras pendant toute une journée et toute une nuit, perdu dans l’incompréhension.
Shhh, murmured my mother. And the 14 first years of my life vanished into the obscurity of the closet on the third floor of our house. Me who was so afraid of the dark when I was small, me who couldn't go alone at night in the toilet in the courtyard because it was so dark in it, me who trembled with fear when my father sent me to fetch coal in the dark basement of the house where huge black rats attacked me, me I stayed in the black hole of the closet for one full day and one night, lost in incomprehension.
to all my faithful readers : do you approve this opening?
If so, please send a note to chut@enfance.com