March 30, 2008
Two Dozen Obligatory Questions An Interviewer Must Ask a Famous Writer [With the Answers the Famous Writer Usually Gives]
Photo: Steve Murez
I was being interviewed for t.v. by this georgous blonde in Berlin
that interview inspired this little piece
Q: Why do you write?
A: Because .... just because ...
Q: Why do you write the way you write?
A: I don’t know any other way.
Q: For whom do you write?
A: For my dog.
Q: Who influenced your writing?
A: Homer.
Q: What would you like people to say about your writing?
A: Nothing.
Q: How old were you when you started writing?
A: In kindergarten.
Q: Which of your books is your favorite?
A: The one I haven’t written yet.
Q: How many cups of coffee do you drink while writing?
A: I never drink coffee.
Q: Do you write during the day or at night?
A: Depends on the weather.
Q: What will be the subject of your next book?
A: Me.
Q: Of your many wives which one inspired you the most?
A: I think it was the fourth one but I’m not sure any more.
Q: Do you believe your work will survive?
A: Depends how long I live.
Q: Why did you refuse to accept the Nobel Prize?
A: I hate traveling.
Q: Do you try to influence your readers, and if so in what sense?
A: In the sense that is most satisfying to me.
Q: Do you do a lot of revisions?
A: I never revise. I just write, and write some more.
Q: How does it feel to be famous?
A: It feels weak.
Q: What do you think of your fellow-writers who are also famous?
A: If only they would disappear.
Q: Do you write by hand or with a typewriter or directly on the computer?
A: It depends on the weather.
Q: How do you react when you books are attacked?
A: I laugh.
Q: How much do you make grosso modo with your books?
A: I never count.
Q: What do you wear when you write?
A: It depends on the weather. But I never wear a hat.
Q: Is your writing autobiographic?
A: Everything that is written is fictive.
Q: As an artist do you feel obligated to have a depraved life?
A: Certainly. Otherwise what would be the point of being an artist?
Q: By the way, how would you define yourself as a writer?
A: Small.
Q: What would you like people to say about your writing?
A: The truth.
