August 07, 2006

 

JUST A THOUGHT FOR TODAY

JUST A THOUGHT FOR TODAY

suppose Israel loses the war
suppose then that Lebanon
becomes Herzbolala
and now decides to conquer Isreal
and all the Arabs in the world join in
because they are fed up with all
"those Jews who always start wars."
I put that statement in quotations marks
even though on July 16 1942 I swore
never to use quotations marks in my writing
but in the light of what Mel said the other day
and the scary possibility that Herzbolala
takes power in Lebanon I am breaking
my own rule
so here we are
in the year of Allah 20028
Israel has been conquered
destroyed
ravaged
all the beautiful biblical Jewesses
with sad dark eyes have been raped
all the Israelis and even the Israeli Arabs
have been brutally exterminated
as predicted by Allah
so now the entire Middle East
is a big unified kingdom
under the command of the Great Sheik
of Herzbolala
and so now the Arabs start again
what they could not finish
when they were stopped
in the Col de Roncevaux
by the courageous Roland
who killed them all
before dying all alone
because Charlemagne
who was asleep that night
did not hear the sound
of Roland’s hunting horn
And now all the Arabs are rich
and they have many wives
and they multiply very fast
and they have ultra modern
Russian secret weapons
It was predicable
that the Russians
would arm the Arabs
as a revenge for having lost
the cold war
and the Arabs even have atomic bombs
and they have learned from the Pakistanis
how to use them
and what does the President of the United States
the great-grand son of the late cowboy president
he tells the American to stop driving their SUVs
this way the Arabs will realize that they could go broke
and they will come begging us to drive our SUVs again
otherwise
otherwise
they all ask the Great Sheik
what shall we do
and the Great Sheik says
I shall consult Allah
and Allah will tell us what to do
the problem is that Allah
fed up with the way the Arabs were acting
all of them wanting to be rich and lazy
has moved in with a group of Israeli survivors
who were hiding in a closet in Tel Aviv
when the promised land was being destroyed
the survivors were so good to Allah
they gave him such good healthy food
he decided to convert to Judaism
and declared the survivors
the postshoah new chosen race
meanwhile in America
even though gasoline now cost
$69 a liter
yes America under the influence
of the Europeans who also want
to drive their parodies of SUVS
has changed to the meter and liter system
the Americans who always trust
what their president says and does
are racing across the land in their SUVs
from the East Coast to the West Coast
and from the West Coast to the East Coast
in search of the gas stations that sells
not the cheapest gasoline
but the most expensive gasoline
because the President has offered
a huge tax cut to those who pay the most
for gasoline imported from the Middle East
so that the fucking Arabs would not attack
American with their weapons of mass destruction
so it goes in this fucked up world of ours

Comments:
Federman, NICE WORK on the corrections.

Mike
 
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