February 16, 2006

 

WAITING FOR THE CHARIOTS


Gogo: I hear the chariots. (pause) ... We have to hide until they pass by.

Didi: A bit early, isn't it? The moon is not even up. I thought they come for the corpses only at night.

Gogo: Perhaps today it’s a matter of urgency. Remember the day when one of the crucified escaped. A few months ago. Didn't the chariots come early that day?

Didi: Which crucified? I don't remember any crucifixion. I think you're making this up. And don't ask me when it was. You know I have no sense of time. Time is irrelevant to me. I live outside of time. Hors-time like our creator.

Gogo: When they caught him, he still had nails in his hands and feet. Don’t you remember? You always forget everything and I always have to remind you of it. They got him when he tried to sneak out of his father's house.

Didi: Oh now I remember. But they didn’t catch him at his father’s house like people said. They got him trying to steal food at the market. That's where they got him. I remember. Besides he didn’t have a father. He was naked.

Gogo: It’s true he was illegitimate. Maybe he was visiting somebody else's father. They definitely said: His father’s house.

Didi: Who said that? Maybe that's the name of a restaurant.

Gogo: The authorities said that. When the verdict was announced.

Didi: Maybe he was visiting my father's house. To shame our family.

Gogo: Why not my father’s house. To shame us. Why do you always think you come first.

Didi: I was just making a wild guess.

Gogo: I’m sorry. But listen do you think the new authorities will ever forgive us?

Didi: Didn't we ask them before? How many times can you ask for forgiveness?

Gogo: With the new authorities we might have a chance.

Didi: (looking at Gogo in disbelief) You must be dreaming. Two old masturbators like us being forgiven.

Gogo: (pause) heuh....

Didi: Wow is it hot today. Why don't we go sit in the shadow of that tree while waiting for the chariots to arrive.

Gogo: Oh no! Last time we sat under a tree you tried to hang yourself.

Didi: Yes, I did try, but I failed, the rope broke. It was a shitty piece of rope. (pause) ... Do we really have to wait for the chariots?

Gogo: Didi, we have to stay to see the crucifixions. Something like that happens only once every twenty centuries. We cannot miss it.

Didi: What do you mean once every twenty centuries? Didn't they execute Moses? How did Moses die?

Gogo: That's another story that does not concern us.

Didi: What do you mean does not concern us. We are human. Are we not?

Gogo: Well human, in a manner of speaking, but that doesn't mean we have to be concerned about all of humanity.

Didi: You have a point here. We have enough difficulties being ourselves. And besides what do I know about humanity. I could tell you more about red radishes than humanity. Let's go.

Gogo: We can’t we are waiting for the chariots. I heard in the village that the authorities have bought new chariots, and that the chariot men are going to perform today.

Didi: Then what are we waiting for, let’s go see. (pause) ... Oh by the way when you were in the village did you remember to buy salt?

Gogo: Salt?

Didi: Yes Salt. Don't you remember. When you made that omelette of ostrich eggs the other day I complained that it was not salted enough.

Gogo: They were not ostrich's eggs. They were pigeon eggs.

Didi: Ostrich eggs, pigeon eggs. What’s the difference. An egg is an egg. Doesn't matter from which asshole it comes out. But when the omelette is not salted enough it tastes like shit.

Gogo: Sometimes you infuriate me with your vulgarity. At least on a day like today you should try to act with some decorum.

Didi: Decorum? My ass. Do you think the chariot men will act with decorum when they knock the nails into the hands and feet of the crucified?

Gogo: One day is about this, the next day is because of that. I would like to know what they have decided for tomorrow.

Didi: What are you talking about? I was talking about salt and eggs. Tomorrow is another day. Who gives a shit about tomorrow. Tomorrow there’ll be the same shit. Are there any eggs left?

Gogo: Maybe the chariots won’t come today.

Didi: Let’s go.

Gogo: We can’t. We are waiting for the chariots.

Didi: Let’s go to the bath house.

Gogo: Why the bath house?

Didi: I want to cleanse myself of my sins.

Gogo: Why don’t you ask the authorities to crucify you.

Didi: I did. They said I have to wait my turn.

Comments:
Didi: Oh by the way when you were in the village did you remember to buy salt?

Gogo: Salt?

Didi: Yes Salt. Don't you remember. When you made that omelette of ostrich eggs the other day I complained that it was not salted enough.

Gogo: They were not ostrich's eggs. They were pigeon eggs.
 
Pigeon eggs. Brilliant.
 
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