October 27, 2005


la grandeur de l'ecrivain raymond federman...

I would like you to know that I am writing this under the influence of my fame in france -- I am literally stoned from all that attention --

vous savez raymond federman -- the lady interviewer from france culture said -- by the name of laure - her lovely boobs almost falling out of her blouse when she leaned towards me to say -- raymond federman vous etes un grand ecrivain --

I panicked

how do you measure un grand ecrivain I asked her as her boobs retreated into her blouse

she laughed a delicious laugh

so I told her that I would take my measurements and let her know how great I am

so today I started measuring my body

I skipped the penis today because it looked rather pathetic

but the rest of the body I did

arms legs toes around the waist around the chest up and down without forgetting the nose the dimensions of my face vertically and horizontally

the size of my ass even my tongue everything parts that make my body and therefore make me the being that I am which according to the lady interviewer avec des nichons tres accueillants is un grand ecrivain

well without the measurement of the penis which I shall reserve for a time when it is willing to give me its full dimension

I raymond federman measure 24 meters and 9 centimeters 31 millimeters

I took the measurements in meters so that I can send them to the lady interviewer and thus give her an idea of la grandeur de l'ecrivain raymond federman

well in america the audience ignores me completely because most of them prefer reading harry potshit or steven kling or glancrap -- or if a guy by mistake buys one of my books immediately he tells his friends that federman is unreadable --

in france I may not sell millions of copies but those I sell are read - and you know what the french say when they read me - wow federman is such a human writer -- imagine that - I am human
That's why I like Portland, Moinous.

Hahahaha @ Harry Potshit :-)
People read here too -- well in this appartment anyway. Perhaps it's connected to the whole Portland thing that O'G is on about. There's also a Portland where I live.
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